1.The phone rings. Are you quick to answer or do you ignore it?:

- Yeah, now because I have my phone on me like every five minutes. I text alot. >>;

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart to the appropriate place or just randomly leave it in the parking lot?:

- Well..depends how pissed off I am. If I am very pissed off I leave it in the parking lot, in the closest spot, so that way people have to get out of their carts and move it to get the spot. x3

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?:

- Eh, Both. When people talk to me, I focus on them most of the time, but if I'm just sitting there I tend to take it all in.

4. Do you take compliments well?:

- >>; Kind of? Like..people compliment me and I'm like " Oh? Really? Uh. Thanks. " So I just say THANKS in my cheesiest smile. :]

5. Are you an active person?:

- Kind of? iF there's nothing to do in my room, I'll clean it. Or go ask my mom if I can spend the night at a friends or something. I'm usually up and around doing something these days though. Kind of irritating.

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?:

- xD probably not. I don't like being alone. At all. 'specially in the wilderness. FUCK THAT.

7. Do you like to ride horses?:

- MOTHERFUCKING NO. Jeebs. Why does everyone ask me that question!?

8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?:

- No. I was scared. >>;

9. What was your favorite game as a kid?:

- SAILOR MOON. Me and my friends would act like we were Sailor Scouts and the boys we liked/didn't like..? Were the NEGAVERSE. We were awesome, k? Don't h8.

10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married, would you get involved with him/her?:

- Nooo. Because I would not like that to happen to me myself. And I hate soap opera's and thats what would happen would be some fucking Soap Opera story line. And they piss me off so much. With their repeating of the names over and over and repeating the events and the details and their fake acting and SHIT. But yeah. No cheating on anyone. With anyone. Or behind anyone's back. It's wrong. :]

11. Are you judgmental?:

- Mostly everyone is, I mean..if you see some kid wearing all black and shit, you think WOW. HE MUST BE GOTH. or like. Some girl wearing Hollister or some stupid thing like that, they must be fucking..preppie or whatever that is. But yeah. Labels are bad. And I can be judgemental. And sometimes it's good to be judgemental. Because..I tend to pick out the right people to talk to. Like my friend Eric, He always picks the wrong people, and I tell him this. And he's like NUH UH. But then It's always me going " I told you so. "

12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?

- Yeah. :] I would learn to deal with it, if I really loved the person.

13. Do you like to pursue or be pursued?:

- Being pursued. :3

14. Use three words to describe yourself:

- Reliable. Intelligent. Creative.

15. If you had to choose, would you rather be deaf or blind?:

- Blind.

16. Are you sexy?

- No. D: I don't see myself as sexy. So. Yeah. I have no idea. I've been told things. But I don't believe them.

17. Do you know how to shoot a gun?:

- No. But I'm sure I could figure it out.

18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you tried to save (assuming all pets and people are safely out)?:

- All my close things. Like my Domo. And my bulletin board. And my bag with all my SHIT in it. :]

19. How often do you read books?:

- I read all the time. not healthy.

20. Do you think more about the past, present or future?:

- Near Future, really. I've been thinking really about getting through school now, because I just..want to graduate so bad, so I can go to school in boston. it's been a dream of mine ever since i was like...12. I want to go, so bad. And I just need to get through highschool. Thats it. But it seems harder now that I skip school all the time. and all that shit. I will be there though. :[ someday.

21. What is your favorite children's book?:

- The hungry Catepillar.

22. Where were you born?:

- Lourdes Hospital. :] Pretty awesome.


23. Have you kissed any of your MySpace friends?:

- Mhmmmm. >>;

24. How tall are you?:

- Five foot SHEVEN. ( I refuse to say eight. )

25.Where is your ideal house located?:

- Somewhere so I can travel about..a good distance to peoples places. So I can say when I get there. " I Listened to ______ when I was in the car. " Radio music makes me squee.

26. Last person you talked to?
- David.

27. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?:

- DUHHH.

28. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?:

- Uhm. When I went with my mom's friend and my mom. We sang happy birthday. And I had Alfredo.

29. What is on your keychain?:

- Well, it had my keys, but it broke. And my Borders Card, and I think my ExtraCare card for CVS and now I have my Tamagatchi and someother crap.

30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?:

- My kitchen.

31. Where is your current pain at?:

- My fingertips they're frozen.

32. Do you like mustard?:

- FUCKKKK. NO.

33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?:

- Sleep. I can dream.

34. Do you look like your mom or dad?:

- Dad. Unfortunatly. >>; I kind of look like both of them. Together. Considering thats what happens..when your parents have children.you look like BOTH OF THEM.

35. How long does it take you in the shower?:

- Bout an hour. I like being in the shower and listening to my music. And stuff like that.

36. Can you do splits?:

- xD NO. It burns.

37. What movie do you want to see right now?:

- Twilight again. Or some other movie. I'unno. Anything? 

38. Do you put lotion on your dog or cats?:

- ...What. Fuck no.

39. What did you do for New Years?:

- Went to fuckin'..First Night, missed the parade, had bad Chinese Food, told some girl in Rainbow ToeSocks I loved her. Saw some bubble dude be magical with bubbles. and. Then came home, because we got bored, so Eric and Quaya played Guitar Hero, and I sat on my floor, Going through pictures, then went out with my mom to see the Ball Drop. Then got kissed on teh cheek by teh Quaya. And got glomped my Eric many times. >>; good times.

40. Do you think the grudge was scary?

- No. xD it was dumb.

41. What was the cause of your last accident?:

- Uh. Usually it's Eric's fault. >>;

42. Do you own a camera phone?:

- Yes. D: It's pathetic though.

43. What are you drinking?

- Water.

44. Was your mom a cheerleader?

- xDXDXDXDXDXD FUCKKKKK NO.

45. What's the last letter of your middle name?:

- E. D:

46. Who did you vote for on American Idol?:

- I don't vote. I think they all suck. Cept for Kelly Clarkson. She's amazing.

47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?:

- Loads. I don't know.

48. Do you like care bears?:

- No. I don't like the fact that they have stuff on their bellies. And a person I know likes them. So I can't stand them even more Because I stole her Care Bear pencil and I think thats why she hates me. And I hate her. And I hope she reads this, and knows it's her. then tells all her pot head friends that i'm a dyke. BECAUSE THEY THINK I LIKE VAGINA. AND I DONT I LIKE PENIS. SO FUCK YOU BITCHES IN THE EAR WITH YOUR RAZOR PHONES AND ATTIC BEDROOMS,

49. What do you buy at the movies?:

- A ticket. Uh. And a soda. I want ICEE. but no one lets me get them. :[ And my mom makes me get A large Popcorn, so I can get refills and bring them home for her to gobble up.

50. Do you know how to play poker?:

- No. It confuses us

51. Do you wear your seatbelt?:

- Yeah. Cept in the back. The backseat buckle is for butt fairies.

52. What do you sleep in?:

- Tshirt and PJ pants. :3

53. Anything big ever happen in your town?:

- Duh. Yes.


Figure it out yourself. Gosh.

54. How many meals do you eat a day?:

- Uh. Like...2?

55. Is your tongue pierced?:

- No. But I think guys with tongue rings are fucking sexy as hell. I want to eat their heads.. -drool.-

56. Do you always read MySpace bulletins?:

- The ones that say Pc4pc. Or like. Survey's. Or something from people on my top friends. I'm somewhat of a Friend Whore. So I tend to ignore most of them.

57. Do you have A.D.D?:

- No. I haven't had a " check-up " for anything on my body in a very, very....very. long time.

58. Do you like funny or serious people better?:

- I like people who know when to be serious and funny. Fucking..funny people get annoying fast, and serious people should just go kill themselves, because if you can't laugh you're screwed

59. Ever been to Vegas?:

- No.

60. Did you eat a cookie today?:

- Nu. I had ice cream.

61. Do you use cuss words in other languages?:

- No. Just English. :]

62. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads?:

- SHHHHHHTEAL. :]

63. Do you hate chocolate?:

- Eh, yes. I need to be in the mood for it.

64. What do you and your parents fight about the most?:

- My grades. My " attitude. " My room. My hair. My friends. Anything about me, really. Oh, and I retaliate with whatever I hate about them and they say. " I'm a grown ass man/woman. I can do what I want and you have no right to say otherwise. "

65. Is your cell usually on vibrate or ring?:

- Vibrate, because in school they will kill you if it rings. and yeah. I forget to take it off vibrate.

66. Are you a gullible person?:

- At times.

67. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy?:

- Nope.

68. If you could have any job (assume you have the skills) what would it be?:

- ...Tattoo Artist. Or like.. a Manga artist, or a DJ. Or an Ice Cream Truck Driver.

69. Are you easy to get along with?:

- Yes. Quaya says yes.

And now the argument me and Eric had earlier.

Raiiinb0ww (21:41:15):haha, adam talked to me earlier. >>;
Raiiinb0ww (21:41:20):i even saw him on webcam. Raiiinb0ww (21:41:22):awkwardddd...
Eric (21:42:40):yea me to like forever ago
Raiiinb0ww (21:42:48):mhmm.
Eric (21:43:01):sooo
Eric (21:43:01)::P
Ericr (21:43:06):and he saw me on webcam
Ericr (21:43:12):i saw im shirtless
Ericra (21:43:13)::O
Eric (21:43:17):him
Raiiinb0ww (21:43:29):yeah, why are you competing with me? Raiiinb0ww (21:43:34):all i said was i saw him on webcam.
Ericr (21:43:43):im not chill out fag bitch
Ericr (21:43:48):im just saying

Raiiinb0ww (21:43:48):and you're all. " OH WELL, ME TOO. AND I SAW HIM SHIRTLESS. "
Raiiinb0ww (21:43:51):e.e; sure.

Ericr (21:43:57):wutever 
Ericr (21:44:05):get the rag out ur as
Er (21:44:06):ass

Raiiinb0ww (21:44:08):e.e;
Ericra (21:44:17):i dont compete with u or anyone
Raiiinb0ww (21:44:18):i wasn't being a bitch, just stating the truth.
Ericr(21:44:20):sorry
Raiiinb0ww (21:44:22):okay then.
Ericra (21:44:24):no need to compete
Raiiinb0ww (21:44:27):mmhm.
Ericra (21:44:28):with u
Eric (21:44:31):or anyone
Raiiinb0ww (21:44:32):then why did you have to say that?
Raiiinb0ww (21:44:39):could have just said " OH COOL. "
Eric (21:44:43):couse i wanted to tell u

Raiiinb0ww (21:44:52):because you can't let someone have one moment of satisfaction.
Ericr (21:44:55):why did u have to say it
Raiiinb0ww (21:45:03):'cause i thought it was funny.

Ericr (21:45:08):that satisfys u
Raiiinb0ww (21:45:19):satisfaction = happiness, dickwad.
Eric (21:45:36):wutever if u are gunna be a stuck up bitch please just leave me alone couse i dont wunna deal with it
Raiiinb0ww (21:45:43):whatever asshole.
Raiiinb0ww (21:45:55):i'm always a stuck up bitch when i notice you acting like one yourself.
Raiiinb0ww (21:45:59):so fuck you.
Ericr (21:46:07):yup
Eri(21:46:09):here she goes
Raiiinb0ww (21:46:20):Fuck. You.
Eric (21:47:02):yea
Ericr (21:47:05):why are u getting so mad
Eric (21:47:11):are u on the rag or sumthing
Raiiinb0ww (21:47:14):Why aren't you shutting up?
Ericr (21:47:28):couse u totally blow everything out of paportion Raiiinb0ww (21:47:31):AND WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH ALL YOU FUCKIGN MAN CREATURES WITH ONCE A GIRL IS PISSED OFF SHES GOT HER FUCKING PERIOD.
Ericr (21:47:31):everytime
Raiiinb0ww (21:47:33):GROW THE FUCK UP.
Raiiinb0ww (21:47:49):Oh, do you mean Proportion? the way it's supposed to be spelled?
Raiiinb0ww (21:47:50):No, you did.
Raiiinb0ww (21:47:55):By calling me all those names.
Ericr (21:47:56):umm just couse ur mad at tony dont take it out on me Raiiinb0ww (21:48:03):When I fucking just noticed you trying to one up me. Raiiinb0ww (21:48:13):You're a fucking idiotic son of a bitch. Raiiinb0ww (21:48:15):Don't talk to me.
Ericr (21:48:37):wutever kayla
Ericr (21:48:42):i dont understand
Ericr (21:48:46):why u are acting like this
Eric (21:48:53):grow the fuck up
Raiiinb0ww (21:48:56):HAH.

Ericr (21:49:00):i said nothing for u to act like this
Raiiinb0ww (21:49:00):NO U. Asswad.
Eric (21:49:01):at all
Eric (21:49:09):ok herte come the names
Ericr (21:49:18):here*
Raiiinb0ww (21:49:23):Eric: im not chill out fag bitch
Eri: im just saying
Raiiinb0ww: and you're all. " OH WELL, ME TOO. AND I SAW HIM SHIRTLESS. "
Raiiinb0ww: e.e; sure.
Ericr: wutever 
Ericr: get the rag out ur as
Ericr: ass
Raiiinb0ww (21:49:47):and i'm not supposed to be pissed?
Ericr (21:49:47):soo i call everyone names
Raiiinb0ww (21:49:52):well don't call me any.
Raiiinb0ww (21:49:53):K?
Eric (21:49:53):and u think it makes u special
Raiiinb0ww (21:50:09):No, but I am your friend, so I was hoping you WOULDn't? Ericr (21:50:14):i call evrone something
Raiiinb0ww (21:50:25):Well don't call me anything, thats all I'm saying. Ericr (21:50:29):it just has tobe u who flipps out about it every time Eric (21:50:34):every time

Raiiinb0ww (21:50:37):No, it doesn't.
Raiiinb0ww (21:50:42):Just shut the fuck up.
Raiiinb0ww (21:50:46):And leave me alone.
Ericr (21:50:47):no one else is like omg im soo pissed its only
Eric (21:50:58):and i thought u would have known me better by now Raiiinb0ww (21:51:06):yeah, whatever.
Raiiinb0ww (21:51:18):I know you well enough, that you don't just call me those names out of the fucking blue.
Ericr (21:51:35):yea i would
Raiiinb0ww (21:51:40):And I HATE IT when you automatically assume when I'm being a bit serious, you think I'm on the rag.
Raiiinb0ww (21:51:43):It's sexist and annoying.
Ericr (21:51:58):when did u become miss activist
Ericr (21:52:14):and 1st of all u know i say that all the time when im kidding Raiiinb0ww (21:52:21):No. You don't.

Raiiinb0ww (21:52:23):Not to me at least.
Eri (21:52:24):or playing around for that matter
Eric (21:52:33):umm yea i do
Raiiinb0ww (21:52:39):NO, you don't.

Eri (21:52:49):prettty sure i do
Raiiinb0ww (21:52:54):Thats great.
Eri (21:52:55):i say it all the time
Eric (21:52:59):everyday i say
Raiiinb0ww (21:53:00):I don't give a shit.
Raiiinb0ww (21:53:03):Just leave me alone.
Ericr (21:53:04):k then
Ericr (21:53:17):wutever  ur wish is my comannd
Eric (21:53:19)::]


He's a dick, right? 

I'm a whiney bitch, eh? Wowza.
So, yeah. Lookat that, I actually have a journal! and I'm using it! 
Everyday I find something new quirky about myself.
I am the ulitmate quirky girl, I suppose.
People look at me and go. "OH SHE SO QUIRKY. "
but srsly, i am, guys.
so, Tony's being a DICK.
and not talking to me.
okay, yes, his damn friend killed himself, and you'd think he'd not go to fucking work if there was a death in his family/group of friends? i know i wouldn't. " oh they wouldn't understand i had to break down and cry for them to let me come home before. " yeah, sure.
he won't TALK to me...i need him, i need his stupid voice when he talks to me, and the way he says he loves me too, and the way he tells me i'm perfect for him, and he'll never leave me,
WELL WHAT THE FUCK, TONY!? you're leaving me without even realizing it.
you're hardly around, consider yourself well fucking GONE, i suppose.
so yes,
there's that clusterfuck of a relationship going on.
i think i'm maturing as a person, because..if i were who i was back then, i 'd be completely wrapped up in someone else while tony's gone.
and i'm not.
well, there's him. but hey, we're done. we both know it, there's no reason to try beating a dead horse and telling it to get the fuck up, it just won't.
not anymore at least.
i do care about his happiness though. and i want to make sure he's happy with whatever he's doing. i don't know how i can do that though. I'd love some pointers, kiddo.
and school. OHHHH school.
all i can do when i'm there is think about Tony, and how everyone would shit themselves seeing me with him. seeing how tall and smart looking he is, and how articulant and intelligent he is, and how beautiful he is compared to me.
and go. " wow, she's done caught her a good one that quirky gal. " and i'll be like YUP. AND HES ALL MINE.


NOT seeing that happening anytime soon.
no throwing myself at him, after he walks up to me after school and just sits there and goes "hi. "
and i just go. " who..." and then i realize who he is and freak the fuck out.
i want that to happen so bad. he just suprises me and poof, he's there. i want him here. so desperatly. he put the idea in my head of him being able to come, and..even though we both know..it won't be soon...i want it so fucking bad.
i want it as much as i can breathe. i need him like air..
i wanted to cry today in chemistry..because all i can picture is him and some exgirlfriend..and thats the reason he can't talk to me..
with some perfectly soft music in the background. and me just sitting there in highschool, on a bench in the back of the class, while he's out there doing grown up things. i need to get the fuck over myself...i hate this shit. i want to be ALL he wants.

...I guess there's no pleasing everyone.

So..yeah.
Jesse and I kind of aren't working out..
and so, things aren't really happening with him anymore.
so now I'm with Lukas.
WELL. technically his name is Tony.
And he told me his name was Lukas, HOW EVER many YEARS ago.
I still luff him.
but i can't help but call him my Lukey still, even if..yeah..his name is really..tony. >>; hm.
He likes it when I say his name.
x3
he' s so amazing..
he'd love me no matter what..and he said he would.
i just fucking wish he didn't live in FUCKING iowa.
But!
i am going to help him, i'm getting a job at the grocery store.
and he already has a job putting up tents.[ har har. pun intended? ]
SO yeah.
we're gonna put money together, and hopefully he can drive up here some day..<3
xDxD he has a foot fetish. it's quite adorable. xD
he made me send him pitchas of my feeties. x3

and like..yeah..he's kind of really fuckin' gorgeous.
<3
he looks like the guy from Coyote ugly, the australian guy.
mmmmmmm.. my tony. <3
and he wants to effin' marry me.
i've known him for about...4 or 5 years. xD
and yeah. >>; he's 20..but oh well! :D
i love him. age is a numbah, that is all.

tomorrow's the last day of school.
i've been regretting this day.
i've done nothing to help myself improve.
just moping around and feeling sorry for myself.
i have to stop feeling that way.
it's not my fault for anything that has happened.
I have to not bring it down on myself anymore.
it just makes me feel worse.
I don't need you to survive.
At one point, yeah. I wanted you to be with me forever.
But not anymore, I'm finally over you.

please? ughh.
This is horrible.
My tooth, the " 19th " one, to be exact, is infected.
the one that broke off when I was like..10?
in 3rd grade, I had some skittles, and a part of it broke off.
yeah, and how many years later it comes back to haunt me?
Ughhhh. I wish it would stop hurtingg. ><
It hurt ever since Mothers Day evening.
And it hurt ever since i woke up the next morning.
and, so today we went to the walk-in clinic place for oral health, and this dude, Matthew something, was a complete asshole
he looked down his nose at me and my mom, because i looked like i just woke up, and ya'know, we didn't look like fucking 100million bucks.
but whatever, my mom spent 55 dollars just for him to reccomend us to someone to pull my tooth, and for him to write some perscription for Codeine, and Amoxocillan.
yeah, i'm swollen up from the tooth. I never hurt this much in my entire life.
well, physically at least.
and.. the codeine makes me sleepy. thank god.
and my mommy got me some vicodine just incase we run out of the codeine.
since, the asshole only gave us TEN codeine.
and like 30 amoxocillan.
asshole. ><
and i went to school one day all week.
simon is supposed to bring me home work to work on.
i wish the pain would go away.
but yeah, i'm getting the sucker pulled on Sunday afternoon. I'm scared. Because..i've never had any like..surgery or anything of that sort.
but people told me they're going to shove needles in my gums filled with novacaine.
i'm so scared. ><
but as long as afterwords, i'm fit as a fiddle, i'll be aight. :]
oh wells.
i'm going to try and sleep now.
D: nightnight folks.

yeah. is it bad..that..i have to keep the book in another room, to not scan it for spoilers?
ughhh.
i'm reading New Moon, and I'm more than halfway through it now. And Eclipse, the third book, is in my living room.
I have to keep it a room away from me to not read the last page.
IT NEEDS TO BE A SUPRISE.
I hate doing that to myself. ><;
Like, today I found out there's going to be a movie.
Thats amazing.
:]
the girl from Speak plays Bella. Although I always pictured Bella as my friend Cassie for some reason.
And the dude, uh..Cedric diggory? from harrypotter4, plays Edward.
Not who I pictured, really.
I pictured..like..Spencer Reiede ish. Or like..the guy from Tuck Everlasting.
Some longhaired dirtyblonde boy..with light eyes, gorgeous lips. and an amazing personality.
i almost can't imagine it being turned into a movie, because it just erupts into my mind like it's real.
no book has ever made me feel this way before.
it's filling that big whole in my chest, like Bella's.
but the edges around the hole still ache.

on a lighter note.
i found a boy who is the cheese to my macaroni. :3
he's sweet.
a few states away.
and although very unfortunatly he's a pot head too. :[
He's never able to talk to me on the weekends, sad enough.
but eh, he's amazing.
he's making me forget about you some.
my mind has been a one track thing..about you..for so long..that now that i have other things going on in my mind it's slowly telling me to stop thinking about you.
but it's not helping when that book also reminds me of us..

but yeah.
wanna cuddle wiff him. x3
i miss him.
i don't like talking to him when he's high, of course, but eh..
i can deal for now.

MY MOMMY. let me drink with her.
a little awkward, I must say.
but yeah, i didn't get drunk.
had two glasses of wine, made me want to sleep.
and then we played with the Ouija board and I REALLY think she was moving it, because eh, it was working way too well.
but eh.
nightnight folks.
i'm gonna call my honeybuns. xD

so...
it's been a long time since i posted on here.
I've been aight, i guess.
taking things slow.

but jeebs.
i've been reading Twilight by stephenie meyer, and oh my GOD that book is amazing beyound comprehension.
and, i finished it, i cried during the bad part when bella almost died because of the evil vampire, and edward was crying and trying so hard to get her alive.
and yeah..then i got new moon, thinking OH YAY they'll stay together!
and what happens!?
THAT FUCKING ASS LEAVES HER.
' for her own good ' my ass.
just ups and leaves
she wasn't the same for months.
then she starts falling in uh..'love?' with Jakob, BAD idea. I don't like Jakob. I liked Edward.
when i picture Edward, I picture..the guy i would love to be with. x3 and they're arguments are so adorable.
they remind me of old times.
and i feel like i AM bella.
bella is me.
except i didn't get to kiss a sexy ass vampire.
oyyyye.
i want to read the rest of New Moon, but it's getting pretty depressing.
i'll end up crying, and eh.

well..
other than that, I made up about all my lab makeups.
seeing as how i've had nothing on my mind, all i had to do was school work. and stuff of that sort.
and like..i'm passing 2 classes. and both my art classes.
i just have to make up class in
Earth Science and uhm.. Global.
I'm working hard, sad enough.
i wish someone would save me.
i need a knight in shining armor.

kind of wish he was done dusting off his armor for another go..
i'll promise i'm here for him and only him.


kind of sad how my journal entries always end up about you, huh?
it's been so hard not to think of you.
and I haven't texted you in..about..a week? I think..no.
monday.ha.
not hardly a week.
feels too long.
i don't understand it myself, babe..but hopefully i can get over you.
for your own sake.
that way you don't have to put up with trying to forgive me anymore.
when it's obvious, you haven't been able to.
oye..
off to homework land. filled with circumferences and killing of mockingbirds.

I need someone to get me through the night.
Any offers?

a lot, really..
well...
i wish i could say..i could give you time..to think about how much you'll miss me, and start to think about how your life isn't complete when i'm not in it..but..
i'm not much, am i?
just a little coaster on your table.
i'm sorry that..my life can't be what you want, with you know, my friend spending the night, that you don't like.
but he's my friend.
and see, how mary is your friend, and you won't stop talking to her,
i'm not going to stop talking to eric either.
although, i'm very damn sure nothing will happen between me and eric.
but i'm pretty very sure, something could happen..more..between you and her.

i know. i shouldn't bring her into this.
but..
i just..don't want to lose you.
i might complain about you..
and i HAVE been a bitch lately, but theres a scientific explanation for that.
it's called menstruation(Sp?)
ha, kind of sad i can't spell my own CURSE correctly.
but..it's true..
and if it really has gotten in the way of us..i'm sorry.
but i mean it if eric being around us..has that much of an effect on you, it will happen.
and i'm serious about this summer, babe..
me and you...together...
i just..i don't care anymore, i want to be able to touch you, and kiss you, and just..grab your hand whenever i want.
i love you so much. and i can't just get over someone..that..has my whole heart in his hands.
and every time you say that stuff it just..gripped me tighter..
i love you so much david..
and these are most of the words i want to say to you, but couldn't because of your damn phone..
i know you love jenna still, and you can't get over things.

but apparently neither can i.
i can't get over you.
or mary and you.
or chantel and you.
or crystal and you. although, crystal..i may not have much to worry about, but..it still worries me.
i have an insane jealous streak - that i'm also sorry about.
i bet that gets annoying. but i just want you for myself.
i want to just...have me handcuffed to you, so every waking moment i can talk to you, and feel you, and ugh..
i'm not worried anymore about what you'll think of me when we meet.
i'm positive you may like what you see.

well, you'd think after you telling me i pretty much..just not good enough, you'd think i don't want you to see me.
i think it's because i want to prove you wrong. i want to let you see and feel and touch and smell and just...sense what there is about me that is worth keeping by your side.

you are everything i want..and i mean those words so dearly
i mean, yeah. you may stray and stuff...but i believe that if we were actually together..you would have no reason to try and be with anyone else.
because i'd be there to comfort you through any hard time..and..
please...please...don't let..him.
be the end of us..?
he's not worth it.

there's so much more i want to say..but..i just can't fit it on here
i still get butterflies when i think of you..?
you make me stumble over my words?
i brag about you to all my friends..?

even the guy i used to have a crush on?
i told him all about you..and how much i want to be with you. and all that fun stuff.
so..i think it's..kind of a good thing..
i wish i could have fallen asleep...after us talking to eachother through the night..
you should send me a shirt....that i can wear...then send back to you...

David Michael Card...is the name i write down all over my papers in school, and on my hand..and
then under it..i usually write Kayla Mae-Anne McCoy  Card.

I'm a little obsessed. I'm sorry. :[
You just make me this way.
I believe if you can't explain the way you feel, you must really, really feel it.
We can't explain the way we feel for each other...right?
I love you David..please don't leave me..when you're all Iever want and need...?
D: we could live in a straw house, and I'd still love every inch of you.
Even your fingernails.
And I'll watch Naruto with you. even if i'm not too fond of it because of all the action it gets here on tv.
i'll watch every Jay And Silent Bob movie too.
AND. Eurotrip. :]
..i love you david.

xD Like I ever do anything for Springbreak. But, ehh.
I get like 5 whole days to SLEEP.
sleeping is one of my favorite past times. It's so much fun. You can just..let yourself fall into a dream of somekind that just takes control of your whole mind, and eh, sometimes their bad dreams. >>; I've had my share, believe me, and I also have good dreams. :]
I really don't like talking about my dreams, because they're mostly mine, and no one elses. I keep them to me like they are real objects.

But eh, yeahh. I'm about to go out to eat wiff my mom. Hopefully it's Panera Bread. That place makes me so happy. x3
They have Jones Soda!!
And Iced Chai Tea Latte!! :D

Makes me feel like I want my own car. So I can go up there every time I'm hungry, because it's in VESTAL. and here in..uh. Where I live, it's QUITE hard to get there by feet.
xD The Mr.Men show is funny.
I'm not sure if it's a toddler show, or not.
But I like it, it's adorable.
x3
Soo. oh kay.
I'll be leaving now, gotta put my shooooes on. xP

Oh! If you want to see some of my new drawings I just posted, Go <a href="http://angeloffalseawarenes.deviantart.com/">HERE.</a>